Do you even know what happy looks like?

Seems like a pretty easy question eh? I would venture in this modern cliché world you could go with the stock answer of family, health, and wealth or some combination around that. Maybe it’s more beyond your own self and you would want world peace. While all of these things are important and have some degree of “happy” associated with them do they really make you happy? At the end of the day when you sit alone and reflect on things or just simply get a moments break from a fast paced world do you feel true happiness?

I ask because for much of my life I have sought this answer or at least a better understanding of what it means to be happy. I mean we all seem to seek it but we also seem to have no idea what it looks like beyond what we have been raised or told that happiness is.

Let me give you a personal example of how the elusive happiness seems to always stay out of reach or not be as we thought when we seemingly achieve it.

Well over a year ago now I quit my well paying career. For 30 plus years I worked in a high pressure, around the clock, no time off tech job. Now don’t get me wrong I love technology and it’s safe to say I was good at it too. I worked my way in and up to a high level position with no college degree. Sounds like right there I should be happy huh? In many ways I was. I enjoyed achieving tough goals and making a difference in my company. The problem is I watched everyone else have more of a life and seemingly a happier one. I was tired of year after year losing my vacation time or just making work my daily focus. So one day on a conference call I just quit. Yep, in the middle of a call, and after 22 years at the company, I just said I’m done and typed my resignation and handed it in, on the call. Now if you know me at all this was completely out of character for me. It’s also the first time since I was seventeen I was without a job. Scary and a bit crazy to say the least.

Fast forward to today. I still haven’t taken a vacation. I don’t go do all the things I said the job was keeping me from. I’m still looking for what’s next. At times it’s hard to make ends meet when that was never and issue before. On the surface I made a bad choice and things are less towards the happiness end of the dial.

Now hold on because this is where it get’s interesting. I am in some ways more stressed. Life on the surface seems harder. I’ve even thought about jumping back into the very career I barely escaped from. Here is the key though. I am happy. My days, and my choices, are mine. I am not in work mode all the time. When I step away from a money making activity I am actually away and in the moment more than ever before in my life.

That Is what I think happiness is. Freedom, love, and acceptance make up happiness. The freedom to make choices good and bad. The freedom to guide what you will do with each and every precious day. It’s not waiting to the weekend to have a life but rather make your way through life in a moment by moment way. It’s the ability to love yourself and find who you truly are. To follow a passion even if it fails. To try things in life and find the journey that makes you feel whole and like in some way you made a difference. Finally learning to accept what is and what will be. To choose to be happy with what you have and where you are even if you want to change it.

Now with all this said you don’t have to do anything so drastic as quit in the middle of a work call but you do have to take the wheel. You need to stop the groundhog day of rinse and repeat and start making the choices that make you happy. Find a way to do what you love or at least enjoy the moments of your life more.

Every day is a gift and at some point we run out of them. Don’t wait for retirement or later to do anything. Life is precious and we never know the moment later no longer will come. Love life, love the people around you, and most importantly love yourself.